Giavanna Grace Ferrucci

Look inside. find your light.
Namaste`

Your daughters are beautiful little angels. I do not know you, but would like to send my deepest sympathy your way. I have lost a baby by miscarriage. Yes I know not the same, but after trying for years it was still very painful for me. I am currently pregnant with my baby girl, and am scared that she will come too early, and haven't stopped crying over any of it yet. My son is 5 years old and is so excited and I am as well. I wish I could do something for you and your families pain. I could be very cleche and tell you god works in mysterious ways, but that does not help she is still not here with you. Her memory will live through you and her story through me. I thank you for showing me that you can be strong through a situation like this, this is exactly what I needed. Much Love to your little angel!

hi

my name is ronnette and i have to say ur daughter was beautiful i lost my little boy aiden he was born still november 20th 2006 i miss him so much im sorry for ur loss i know ur probably tired of hearing that as am i but just know that if u ever need to talk im hear and wouldnt mind talking to smeone that this has happened to too he was my first myabe she met my son in heaven and they are playing and maybe friends

Sorry I hit the send buttom.

I am one of a very few people that actually had to chance to know you April 14, 2006 and I am very lucky.  I at least got a change to hold you and let you feel my love.  I showed you and told you how much you were missed and loved.  I can still remember holding you in my arms.  I remember getting to the hospital and seeing you and saying you are were small.  You looked absolutely beautiful.  I kissed you over and over again and never wanted to let you go.  If we could have kept you, we would have. I will never forget that day, I will tell you all about it when we meet again.

Sometimes I sit and wonder after seeing Gianna the ways the two of you would be different.  Would you have different face feature, would you laugh different, smile different and which one would be the angel and which one would be the devil child.  Which one would talk first, cruel first, and walk first.  I guess we will never no.  I will no because I can see you in my dreams everyday and night.  Gianna is saying "dada" and I know that you are saying it also.  I can see you in Gianna, that is why she is such a happy baby. You don't no how many times I have almost called Gianna, Giavanna because you are there and just bursting to come out, but I have to be careful not to say that.  Sometimes it just seems that Gianna just lets you take over, so she can show us that you are still here with us. 

You now have a star named after you Giavanna Grace Ferrucci, I can look up at the sky and know that you are watching over all of us.  If you ever get an answer as to why this happen, please send us a sign so that we will know, maybe it will give us some comfort, I know it will give your mommy comfort. 

Your mommy misses you more than anything in this world.  That's all she wanted was her twins.  She is such a wonderful mother, wife and person.  You not being here has changed her so much.  I wish there was something that I could do to comfort her, if there is anything, tell me in my dreams. Life will never be the same without you.  I bought you and Gianna your birthday present, yesterday, I really hope you like it. 

Please watch over your mommy, daddy and sisters they need you everyday.  You are my little Aries star that I will never forget and will pray on everynight.  I know that you will be there everytime.  At least once a week we will have a date, just for the two of us to talk. I love you baby, I don't want to say good bye again, so until we meet again, talk to you very soon, I promise (and as you know I never break a promise). I love you my little Cabbage Patch.

I sit here often just to listen to this song and it brings tears to my eyes as soon as it starts. I know that you feel us down here hurting because you are not here but you shouldn't up there, you should be down here with us.  Sometimes I sit and wonder why things happen, I know the saying "everything happens for a reason" but not in this case.  Why is it that people that don't deserve these children never have to go through this pain and people that deserve them have to.  That is something that I will never understand.  I know that you are here in spirt and our dreams but that is not good enough, you should be here playing with you sisters and your cousins.  I am very lucky to have had a chance to hold you and get to no you on April 14, 2006.  At least I got to say good bye, even though I never should have had to say good bye at all.  I should have been saying welcome to the world, honey. 

 

I

Giavanna~

My sweet angel.  I dont even know why I bother with this website.  You cannot see it, you cannot read it and you cannot respond to this.  All it does is give me some "relief" that I was able to get what I was thinking off my chest. 

The only thing I can say is that this web site doesnt change a freakin thing.  I dont understand how come your daddy and I had to loose you.  Some people had the nerve to say that you belong where ever it is that you are.  What place is better then in your mommy or daddys arms?  Or next to your sister, Gianna.  I cannot even get myself to go to your grave and talk to you because I never wanted to believe what has happened to us.  This should never have happened.  It came without a warning. Thats why it doesnt seem true.  There are many times that I will think about you and really wonder if you ever existed because it is such a blur for me.  I dont know if it makes it easier or if it is all of a sudden going to hit me one day that you are gone and I am going to loose it.  I dont even understand it.  How can I believe in something when I just dont understand it.  What am i going to do in a few years when I have to explain it to Gianna?

I can only pray that she will never ask what happened.  But I know that will never happen.  All that I prayed that day last year on April 14th, never came true so why would that?  I just kept praying that they were wrong and that you were ok.  I hate the memories that I have of the day that you and your sister were born.  That day I never saw her, only you and you were never able to see me. 

I do only hope that you know how much I love you.  I hope you know that the only thing I have ever felt and will always feel for you is love.  You were always so special ever since we found you there next to your sister.  I just hope that you will always know that I loved you.  I just want you to know that I have always loved you and I will ALWAYS love you forever....I am never going to be the same.  I hope that you will never be the same either.  I just wish there was one way with all the freakin technology that there is out there, that I could see and hold you again.  I just will never understand this whole thing called life.  How come some get handed everything so easy and others have to work for everything?  Is it because we, the ones that have to work for everything, are stronger? 

I want you to know one thing before I go, I never stopped loving you.  I never will.  Do you ever hold me responsible for you having to leave us?  Is there something that I should have avoided or done differently?  I wish I would have been sent to Syracuse and then would I have you?  I will always hold myself responsible for your loss.  I should have known better to go to the people who deal with high risk.  I will forever know that it was my poor judgement that took you from us.  I am so sorry for not knowing.  Please forgive me.......I dont know if your sister ever will.  I guess I will have to cross that bridge when the time comes.  Then I will have to admit to her that it was my fault that I didnt.  I hope someday you both will forgive me.....

I love you with ever bit of my heart and soul.  Nothing will ever change that.  You are my forever love.........XOXOXOXOXO  I miss you everyday and with every bit of me.

Love~

Mommy

To The Moment Precious Angel in the World,

I can't believe that you and Gianna were nine months old on Sunday, January 14, 2007. I can't believe in a couple of months you are going to be a year old.   I can't believe how time flies.  I would like to turn back time and bring you back to us. Life isn't fair. Maybe you know something that we don't.  If you do please let us know. You are so beautiful and getting so big.  I think of you everyday, but today is different.  I don't know why or what's different but something is going on. Maybe you are telling me something. If you are I am listening.  I think of your mommy everyday and can't imagine what in the world she is going through.  When you talk to her again, please let her know that I love her and she can call and talk anytime she wants, I am always here for her.  I look at your beautiful face and wonder why.  Everytime I look at you it brings tears to my eyes and I stop and say a pray for you.  Sometimes I come to this site and listen to the song and just cry.  I know that you are watching over all of us and you are protecting everyone.  I sit and write this to you the tears are just rolling off my face, there is so much that I wanted to tell you and Uncle Adam and I wanted to do so much with you and your sisters.  We were so excited to be an Aunt and Uncle to twins.  Which we still are but it's not the same.  Please come back to us.  I want to hold you one more time, kiss you over and over again, hug you and never let you go. I love you my angel and please send me a sign that you know how much I love you and miss you.     Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite ( Ask Uncle Adam about that).  I love you angel and I will see you soon.  Give mommy, daddy and sisters kisses.  LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU more than you WILL EVER KNOW.

Ally~ I grieve for you each day.  It has been my honor and privelege to meet you.  I just wish that we could have become friends in different circumstances!  Our survivors will always have their twins.  In their heads, hearts and souls.

 

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above,
We were blessed with twins to cherish and love.

Born together to grow apart,
One in our hands, One in our hearts"

With much love,

Trish

Allison  I want you to know that even though I can not truely feel your pain this holiday season, I hurt inside knowing that you will not truely be happy these next few days. I love you more then anything in the world..you know this..and I don't know if any words that I can say to you will ever make you feel better. So here it is Christmas morning..I have been up since 5:45am and you were the first thing on my mind this morning. Even though Giavanna is so far away from you..know that she is really never farther away then your heart. Keep her close as I know you will..until that sweet day that we are all together again. I Miss her very much and my heart hurts to see you so sad... So try to force some smiles today and feel her inside you. I Love you all...Merry Christmas and I will talk to you soon.

Hello sweet beautiful angel,

I just wanted to say merry christmas to you and all your new angel friends. I hope you are having fun and make sure you keep your mommy close she loves you sooo much and misses you like crazy!! I also want to thank you for bringing your mommy to me she is such a special person to me and that says you think i am special too because you sent her to me.If i didn't have your mommy on this journey i don't think i could have done it with out her.So thank you again perfect little Giavanna! Lots of love and kisses to you and give mark some hugs and kisses from his heart broken mommy.xoxo

 

Alice- Marks mommy