Giavanna Grace Ferrucci

Hi My Angel,

 

We all wish you were here with us, it's not the same without you here.  We all miss you so much and you will never how much.  Your Mommy and Daddy did not deserve for this to happen to them.  They are best parents that I have ever seen and you will never no, how lucky you are to have them.  Your Mommy is the strongest person I know and for her to have to deal with this is the hardest thing I think she has ever had to go through.  I remember the first time I saw you.  You were so beautiful and tiny.  I am very lucky I got a chance to hold you, kiss you, hug you, touch you, look into that beautiful face and most important love you.  You have touched so many people, it's unbelievable.  Your Uncle Adam and I think of you all the time and we feel so lucky that we had the chance to love you.  We hope you felt that?  Your sister Gianna is beautiful and everytime I see her, I see you in her eyes.  Your big sister Adrianna is beautiful also and that's all because of your mommy and daddy.  I can't stop thinking of why this had to happen.  It's not fair.  You should be here with your sister.  If we could turn back time you would be here with us. Life is not fair.  I know that you are watching down on all of us, especially your mommy, daddy and sisters to make sure that we all get though this.  You are a precious little angel.  When I see a butterfly, I know that you are here with us and making sure that we are alright.  I love you so much and if I could have just one wish, I would wish to have you back.  Please keep watching over Mommy, she really needs you and Daddy and your sisters.  I love you Sweetheart and please always remember that and never forget all the people that love you and wish you were here. 

 

I MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER NO...Please keep me in your heart, you are in mine every second of every day.  I LOVE YOU MY SWEET ANGEL. 

Dearest Giavanna, I told your mom about your visit to me. I still feel your touch on my face and your presence that night. I will remember it forever. I know you are always here and wish to feel your touch again. Love and kisses and Merry Christmas. Sing with the angels and we will hear you. Love forever  

My Dearest Giavanna~

Where do I even begin?  I am the only one here, other than Gianna, that truely felt you.  You were so quite the entire pregnancy.  I really was looking forward to holding you and your sister and taking on the TWIN CHALLENGE.  I never thought it would end up like this.  I was so wishing for healthy babies.  You both were so close in size the ENTIRE time.  I just do not understand.  You were never given a chance.  I always wonder and I will forever more, how you and your sister would have been together.  You were not supposed to leave.  You were ment to be here.  Not so far away.  I just do not understand.  I hate feeling like this.  You are my daughter and you were never supposed to leave me.  Did you come to us to make us love eachother more?  Did you come to us to make your daddy and I even closer then we already were?  If it was not for your daddy, I do not know where I would be right now.  He is my strength.  I think that I love him more today then I did 5 months ago.  He has helped me through so much that I could never repay him. 

 

I was blessed with something that not many people in their lives will experience and be blessed with.  How come it was taken away so soon?  You never had a chance.  You were so beautiful when I held you.  You were perfect and pink.  How come He took you?  I want you back.  I would give my life for you to come back here.  Your sister, Gianna, needs you and will forever be lost without you.  How do I explain this too her when she wants you here too?  I should not have to go through this.  There was so much that I wanted you two to do together.  I wanted to dress you alike and have everyone stare at you two because you were twins.  That is the way it is supposed to be.  Not this way.  I never thought I would have to use a site like this to contact you.  But who am I kidding?  I cannot reach you this way.  I can NEVER reach you unless you come to me.  I think I am loosing my mind.  I will never heal from this I know it.  I pulled out your outfit that the hospital dressed you in and it had stains on it from when you were delivered.  That is all I have of you.  I should have buried you in the outfits I wanted to bring you home in.  I actually do not even know what I buried you in.  I do not remember.  I wish I could have held you longer.  I wish I could have held you and your sister together.  That is all I ever wanted to do from the moment I was told I was having twins.  I always thought about doing it.  It brought a smile to my face.  Now thinking how I was never able to do that, I hate it.  I wish I could have done things differently.  Looking at it now I wish I would have made a different choices about your care before delivery. 

 

I can sit here all day and talk, well write to you but you will never know the emptiness that I feel.  Maybe you feel it too.  I hope not because it truly sucks.  I just want you to know that I never stopeed loving you for a single moment, have not yet, and NEVER will.  I love you so much.  You are forever in my heart.  I LOVE YOU.  YOU ARE MINE FOREVER!!!!!!

 

Love you and miss you more then you can imagine.

 

MOMMY

I can't help but wonder what all of our lives would have been like if you could have just stayed here with us. ..Your mommy went through so many emotions when she found out that she was carrying you and your sister. I couldn't help but notice the fear in her voice when she told me, but oh how that fear turned to exicitement..She was glowing at the thought of having her two little peas in a pod. When mommy and daddy asked me to be your godmother I was overjoyed and honored, to have the opportunity to be that big of a role model in your life...I miss you...I never had the chance to see you...only in pictures,but i know that you are beautiful. Baby girl please look in on your mommy and daddy and sisters...even though you are not here with us, they need to know and be comforted that you are well and in a warm and safe place. Your mommy misses you more then you will ever be able to understand. My promise to you is that...I will do everything I can to help you take care of them while I am here...you just save me a place in line to see you when I get there...until we meet...I send you my love, hugs and kisses...@>~~}~~~ look how beautiful you are....

I had made a deal with your mom, if she had you and your sister on my birthday 5/17, I would babysit every year on their anniversay 5/18 for you two. Uncle Rich wanted to know if had a choice in the matter, I said yes you can choose which baby to hold. I would have loved to watch you anytime. You will be in our hearts every day, when the sunshines, the flowers bloom, when the rainbows appear, this will be a reminder of how beautiful you are. Angel kisses to you.